I spent a few days in Redding back in July. While I was there I decided to visit a grief counselor at the Bethel Transformation Center. The counselor I saw suggested a couple books for me to read. One was called Revealing Heaven by Kat Kerr.
So yesterday I picked the book up. In fact there are two volumes and I picked both of them up. After spending the day with my sister when we got home I decided to sit and read for awhile. Well, I couldn't put the book down. It was such a neat book. Now some may question this book and the authenticity...to be quite honest I do not. I had such an incredible peace as I read it. I have decided not to write about it in detail as I'm sure it would stir up controversy and that's not my intention for this blog post! But what happened to my spirit was crazy amazing. I could see Jeff in Heaven with our good friend Wes who just passed away last year. I could see him golfing on the most magnificent golf course. I could see him fishing in water that held the most incredibly beautiful and delicious fish! He is so happy. He is worshipping His amazing Father with a full voice of harmony and praise! He is also standing around the portal (that looks over the earth) declaring the promises of God over all of our family and friends that are still living on this earth! I also had a sensation of seeing him playing with our two children that were miscarried, Levi Robert and Amanda Michelle! They are so thrilled to have him there. They are laughing and dancing and just full of life!
I was ignited last night. I saw Heaven in a really real way. I didn't see it with my natural eye, but I felt it in my spirit. I feel like the purpose I have on this earth is so much more significant. I want to draw even closer and more intimate with Daddy God and hear His heart!
This afternoon I had a good friend write and tell me about a dream she had last night.
Jeff was in their kitchen talking to someone. He was smiling and laughing and in my friends head she was like, "Oh that's nice he's having a great conversation." Then fast forward to the afternoon where she and her husband and Jeff were sitting in their living room. Suddenly she was like, "WHAT? Jeff is HERE? and she asked him, "I thought you died awhile ago?" He smiled and said something about it being hard in the beginning, but now everything is ok. She then saw me posting on FB that something had happened (I didn't say what) and she could feel a crazy amount of joy/excitement/faith coming from me.
When I read what she dreamed I just started crying. I felt like God was confirming the peace I had. I felt like there had been this release in my spirit and that although I do miss his presence on this earth, for the first time I truly grasped that His spirit is still very much alive. He is walking on the most magnificent streets. He is seeing music...yep, not just hearing it, but seeing it expressed in creative and wonderful ways.
You see, if this earth we live on is so magnificent...how much more incredible, creative, beautiful and full of life is Heaven. God is the CREATOR! He is the one that thought up all the cool things we have here. He's the creator of our being and our minds. He loves creating with us here. How much more is He lavishing on all that have continued eternity with Him in Heaven! Woazers! Crazy amazing and incredible! What I also like about the book is how very clear she is that the only way that we can enter Heaven is through our confession and belief that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is the only way! That alone makes me crazy excited to continue to show the incredible love of Jesus to everyone I meet.
Yesterday I was in line at the bank...some people came in and before even waiting two minutes began to complain that there were not enough tellers (there were only two working). They yelled at some people to get more tellers. They complained the entire time. I tried to insert some positive things and some ways that we could constructively give our point of view that may help in the future. But they just kept complaining that it would take them 15 minutes to be served. Wow...people what have we become! That alone slowed me down. It allowed me to really look at priorities and how I treat people in every situation I'm in. I want to have that memory seared into my mind so that next time I don't trip up and go that same direction!
That random paragraph was simply because I want to focus totally on life...on sharing love with everyone I meet. I want to stop worrying about decisions I should make and just living in the fullness of God. I want to walk in a place where His grace just pours over me continually and I see Him in the midst of this always! I truly continue to seek a supernatural working out of grief.
So once again I celebrate my man! I celebrate that he was a life giver! I celebrate that he is continuing to impact and infect people! I celebrate that he is standing with so many of our friends who are now in Heaven and they are crying out for all the promises of God to come to completion on this earth!
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